reverb 10: december 26 - soul food

reverb 10

December 26

Soul Food: What did you eat this year that you will never forget? What went into your mouth & touched your soul?

As I write this, I can smell the coq au vin cooking downstairs. My husband is using his new Wusthof knives that were a gift from my mother--side note: yikes! now I know how much she spent on him!--along with his new cast iron Dutch oven (not Le Creuset, but that may still be to come). My husband loves to cook, and everything he makes is delectable.

That being said, there have been times when we've eaten something amazing that he hasn't cooked, and it has been amazing because there hasn't been the shuffling of children while he's cooking, and the rush to eat at a decent hour, and the awareness that the kitchen still needs scrubbed down. Some of our best meals last year include dinner at the Circular Dining Room at the Hotel Hershey:


And just recently we had a yummy fondue dinner at The Melting Pot in Towson, MD.


Who knew that they had a cookbook? I would love to make their classic cheese fondue...sooooo yummy!

I find that more and more I am trying to make choices that involve real, whole foods, less processed foods, less food on-the-go. It's still hard and I still grab fast food more than I want to admit, but I can see the it's not the fast-food meals that are enjoyable, but the ones that are homecooked or whole foods prepared by someone else and enjoyed with my husband. I realize even as I write this that it was certainly one of the things that we bonded on early on--our love of "fine dining." It has cost us a pretty penny over the years, but I don't think we've had any regrets about it.

reverb 10: december 25 - photo: a present to myself

reverb 10

December 25

Photo - a present to yourself: Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

I suppose that I am going to cheat a bit because this photo is of my whole family, but I love it. It was taken as part of a family photo shoot including my sister-in-law and her doggie, and my brother-in-law and his wife and their son, for my mother-in-law (the great unveiling will be today when she receives a photo collage of the best shots!). It's a beautiful fall setting, we had a photographer who had done "belly pics" of me and some family shots when I was pregnant with Irene...so all of that is not particularly remarkable, but the best part is the way that we're all interacting together. I feel like this picture really captures who we are as a family at our best. Yes, I know that I need to be self-differentiated and all that, but having a unified family is one of the biggest gifts of my life right now, and I want to celebrate it!

reverb 10: december 24 - everything's ok

reverb 10

December 24

Everything's OK: What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I have these moments here and there and I really love them. I think the best one can probably be described in this blog post from last summer.

Just the juxtaposition of what I deal with on a daily basis--seeing the aged who have lived through so much; dealing with people who are truly in crisis, yet will also make it; talking with people who help to remind me (sometimes abruptly, sometimes very subtly) that I am still quite young and some things will fall into place more easily than I think at this point in my life--all of these things help me to feel as though it is okay.

I think the one moment when this really his me in 2010 was right after Easter last year when I volunteered to provide devotions each Monday morning in April at the nearest UCC retirement community. I would rush up there to be there in time, and was late a few times, which was no big deal. And then as I would go around and visit after devotions, I would get this sense that time was fluid, that there was so much that we rush to do that is unimportant, that these folks who are in assisted living, or in the dementia wing, or in the more independent retirement-community-ish section, have lived so long, and contain within them so much wisdom and experience, and they know how to put things in their proper perspective.

(Now, to be fair, of course this is a bit romanticized; there are those who feel they have been "put in a home" by family who doesn't want to care for them at home, or who are unable to; there are those who truly are on the outer edges of dementia and don't know where they are or who they are and who are quite violent; there are those who are rude to the staff and who complain about everything, just as they have done their who lives; there are those who are rude to the staff and who complain about everything because they're hurting so deeply because they've outlived their siblings and their spouses and even their children...I don't want you to read this and think that I don't get that. I think that on the particular day I'm writing about, at least for me, I was able to see the blessings that come from being around a place where people have a lot of life experience and can see that the fact that you're stressing out about whether or not you have time to get an oil change that day will or will not really be a big deal. That is all.)

reverb 10

December 23

New name: Let's meet again, for the first time. If you could introduce yourself to strangers by another name for just one day, what would it be and why?

Honestly, I love my name. I wouldn't change it. This one is quick. I really like the name Sarah; in fact if it weren't my name, I'd probably have chosen it for my daughter, but I'm not keen on have a Sarah, Jr., so she was spared that fate.

reverb 10: december 22 - travel

reverb 10

December 22

Travel: How did you travel in 2010? How and/or where would you like to travel next year?

I actually traveled more in 2010 than I have in several years. In fact, probably in 5 years!

The last trip I had taken before 2010 was to Ghana in 2005 for my Cross-Cultural assignment in seminary.

This year I went to Cleveland to the National Office of the UCC for a gathering in May, and then in June I went to Chicago to the 2030 Clergy Gathering. Two flights about a month apart from each other! I felt like such a jet-setter :)

It's so interesting to me that once I settled into a full-time call, I was presented with so many opportunities for travel and conferences and networking events. You actually reach a point where it just can't be done anymore, or else you might have a mutiny on your hands at the church you have actually been called to serve!

I hadn't traveled for 5 years because a year after returning from Ghana (approximately), in 2006, the week after Valentine's Day, we found out we were expecting my son, Jack, and then I was working in a corporate position until he was born.

Then I was a part-time assistant pastor/part-time church secretary for a while, and just didn't have the opportunity or expense account to do any traveling or conference-attending, though I think I might have still had the chance to sneak to some local continuing ed kinds of things.

Then in May 2008 we found out that Irene would be joining us in January 2009, so there was another limit on traveling (beyond beach vacations, but that's by car.)

So, finally, the travel options have opened up. In 2011, I expect to attend General Synod in Tampa, Florida, and who knows what else? To be honest, I don't mind flying, but I'm glad I don't have to do it all the time. You just have to give up so much control, and you're at the mercy of the weather, security, engine problems, etc etc etc. It doesn't bother me to mostly keep my feet on the ground. :)

reverb 10: december 21 - future self

reverb 10

December 21

Future Self: Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead? (Bonus: Write a note to yourself 10 years ago. What would you tell your younger self?)

Ummm, do not like.

Just going to report in on this one today. To be really real about it and some things that I hope might change for me in the next five years, as well as to address how I was behaving ten years ago (mind you, I was 18 and following the Homer Simpson rules for college--"There's a time and a place for everything, and it's called college"), I am going to take this prompt to 750 words and work on it there.

See you tomorrow!

reverb 10: december 19 - healing

reverb 10

December 19

Healing: What healed you this year? Was it sudden, or a drip-by-drip evolution? How would you like to be healed in 2011?

This is my chance to gush about my therapist. She is a spiritual director/therapist/clergy coach, and I love her to pieces.



I called a clergy colleague right around Easter 2010 (how kind of me, no?) to ask her if she would have any interest in getting together and being sort of like CPE classmates for one another. Suffice it to say that in our conversation, I saw that this request was a bit overtaxing for her and that it wouldn't work, BUT she gave me a wonderful referral to the woman who is my current therapist.

Speaking of manifesting, if I may go there, it was sort of an uncanny thing, because in my mind I kept thinking, I need a new therapist, but I want/need a referral. I didn't just want to go to someone who I didn't know from Adam. I had done that before and it didn't go well (I mean, it wasn't horrible, but we definitely didn't connect.) After her, I went to a person who was referred by a friend, and she was wonderful to me in the year after my daughter was born, just helping me to reframe and stay positive, but she was also sort of meeting with me out of the goodness of her heart, and it was often difficult to schedule because she was a grandmother and had many family priorities. So when I was told about this current person, I thought I'd follow that lead because I had been praying for a referral, and it was a wonderful gift.

The biggest thing that she has done that has been helpful for me is to normalize some of the ways in which I tend to think that I am off-the-wall. She has helped me to understand why I think the way I do in certain settings, because of birth order, because of upbringing, because of the way I think. She helps to put things in perspective for me, and helps to alternately redirect me and affirm me as needed. She is definitely one of the most healing forces in my life right now, and has been since this past spring.

reverb 10: december 20 - beyond avoidance

reverb 10

December 20

Beyond Avoidance: What should you have done this year but didn’t because you were too scared, worried, unsure, busy or otherwise deterred from doing? (Bonus: Will you do it?)

Well, the first thing I should have done this year is to get even more on top of finances. I like to pretend that I am rich, which, as a pastor, is not the case. I am realizing I have an affinity for shopping and for buying things, perhaps because, in most cases, I am a little bit bored. I enjoy deciding what to buy, researching where I will get the best price, comparing online, etc etc. This is not a good way to spend my time, and certainly is not ushering in the Kingdom, plus it is depleting my pocketbook and derailing our family goal of saving to buy a different house. I need to track expenses, to be more mindful of how I am spending (this is probably the top point), and to stop bringing junk into my home that I don't need or truly desire to have in the house.

Another thing that I'll just put out there because perhaps if it goes a little bit public it will help continue to spur me on toward the goal: I have been thinking more and more and more about going through a program to become certified to do practical counseling or marriage & family therapy. Not sure if I prefer to go through a full course of study for another Master's in something like Pastoral Counseling, or if I want to do a program specifically designed for pastors to get my MFT, but I think more and more about it these days. I audited a course at Lancaster Theological Seminary this fall called Ministry with Couples and Families and I really enjoyed it, especially learning more about systems thinking. So, at this point, I am not entirely sure how I would work it into my schedule, but for one thing, it may cure that boredom concern from the financial discussion above!

reverb 10: december 10 - wisdom

reverb 10

December 10

Wisdom: What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out?

Can we just listen to the Vengabus song again? I am brain-fried. That is why I get so far behind with these prompts...or why it would be better to do them one-a-day the way they are intended instead of trying to catch up like this. BUT, I said that I wouldn't harp on the fact that I get behind, so, onward and upward...

I think I have to honestly answer this one and say that I cannot think of ONE wise decision for this year, but I think that I have made lots of little wise decisions that keep me on the right path day in and day out (and then sometimes I stray, but blessedly find my way back again, for the most part).

I try to slow down, to be well-differentiated, to think of the long view instead of the immediate-gratification path. I try to be patient and to be strategic instead of impulsive. I try to be quiet instead of jumping in (especially thinking of church council meetings and other church gatherings for that one.) I try to err on the side of love and kindness and being gracious instead of telling other people when they are wrong and making nit-picky corrections, unless it really is needed. I try to love other people even when they are crotchety and cantankerous. I try to put kindness out into the world when all I want to do is scream and give people the finger.

I think all of those things are wise...

reverb 10: december 17 - lesson learned

reverb 10

December 17

Lesson learned: What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward?

Hmmm...the best thing? I feel like I have had some important realizations that will hopefully help me to be more mindful of some of my traits and habits and work to change some things and do more of other things. I don't know that any of them count as best, but here goes:

1. When it comes to finances, if I am not threatened or faced with severe deadlines, I am a giant slacker, and it is a problem. -- Working to practice financial responsibility without threats!

2. I was raised to believe that because I was smart/bright/innately intelligent, if I had to work too hard for something, I had already failed. This is a bummer because a) it gave me a sort of elite, looking-down-my-nose-at-hard-studiers kind of sensibility and b) it didn't train me how to work hard for things that don't come easily to me, but which are still necessary and/or worthwhile. I remember my parents saying things like, "Oh, so-and-so is book smart, but you are smart." That sounded like a compliment at the time, but now I wish they wouldn't have said it.

3. I learned that sometimes, because I was smart and capable, I felt as though I was left to do things on my own, and that made me feel lonely. It also made me feel as though if I asked for help or even wanted help, I was somehow less-than. I am learning that sometimes I just want to work as part of a team, whether I need to or not. This is also an important parenting lesson, because I see it in my son. Sometimes he pretends he can't do something so that I will accompany him while we do it together, and I want him to both know that he is capable and doesn't need me to hold his hand all the time, as well as to learn that I will not abandon him and leave him lonely if he can do something without my help.

Those are some pretty big realizations, huh? I hope that some of the putting-into-practice will help me to have an even better 2011, with even more realizations, than 2010 with some of its already-profound realizations!

reverb 10: december 9: party

reverb 10

December 9

Party: What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.


I honestly do not remember a party from this last year; perhaps I can just say that there have been fun get-togethers on a smaller scale with other couples? Is that sufficient?

But I have to leave you with this, because every time I think about this prompt, this is all I can come up with:

reverb 10: december 8: beautifully different

In the spirit of catching up, here is a response to the prompt from December 8.


Beautifully Different: Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

Maybe the full spectrum of the reflection on this prompt can be something I can revisit at a later time -- ALL the things that make me different seem like they could take forever, although I know that I am not *that* different from other people in the Universe.

What came to mind when I read this, especially in answering the question "what you do that lights people up" is that I truly try to see each person as an individual, and think about the way that they are each a unique Child of God, and what that means for them. There are theories, of course, in systems thinking, and in premarital counseling, and in bereavement work, etc etc, but when it comes down to it, everything is on a case-by-case basis when you're dealing with human beings, is it not?

I feel like the times in my ministry when I've been most challenged have been when I've been trying to decide what to do in a given circumstance where I wish there were just a blanket rule that I could follow, but these have also been the times when I have had to dig deep, in terms of following my intuition, drawing on my training, praying deeply to God for help, and relying on the wisdom of the people themselves to tell me what to do.

This is the way that I feel I am beautifully different, in my ministry and as an ordinary human being.

reverb 10: december 14: aka, I lied

Okay. Today is the last day I will start a post with a comment about how I will do better or what my plan is to stop missing days or catching up or blah blah blah. We can all see that apparently I am scattered. Ah, tis the season. But I will do what I can, and go from there!

reverb 10

December 14

Appreciate: What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it?

The thing that I came to appreciate most in the past year is the wisdom of the aged, and the stories I'm hearing from "a simpler time."

Now, that is not to be confused with telling you that these things are quaint. On the contrary, I want to defend these encounters from quaintness. I find myself really chafing lately when I talk about some of the blessings of my ministry that I encounter especially because people will say, "Oh, that's what you experience at a 'little country church' in your first call." It bothers me when there is this sense that I am only dealing with relics, and not with something that is still real and true today.

The people that I sit with, who tell me about "how things used to be" at time wear me thin, with their constant questioning of the digital age and technology and "how you young people do things these days," but at the same time, they help me to slow down.

I am having trouble being articulate right now about all the ways that I think this "small church/country" mentality is still worthwhile, but suffice it to say for this post that it is the thing I am appreciating most this year.

I continue to struggle with people who tell me things like, "This is just your first call," or to categorize "country church ministry" as something that pastors do right out of seminary before they move to the "big church" in the suburbs or the city. I think that this ministry is just fine, and I am determined to at least stay for the duration of the time I feel God has called me here -- whether that is 2 more years or 5 more years or 10 more years!

Oh, and speaking of that, as a footnote (not that you can footnote the Holy Spirit), I also want to say that my belief in the Holy Spirit has also been stoked this year, and that I truly believe that if we are tuned into the Holy Spirit, we can do anything, and God will be with us, watching and guiding us.

reverb 10: day 11, real time

Okay, new strategy. I am going to try to do at least the post of the day for reverb 10, and I will go back and pick up missed prompts as I am able. So, here is the one that is actually for today, December 11, 2010.

reverb 10

December 11

11 Things: What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Oh, yikes. Let me think. These will probably be alternately silly and profound...well, hopefully profound. Perhaps not profound...let's see...

1. Financial Irresponsibility. Really working on this one. Right now I'm reading the book Your Money or Your Life and finding it really helpful.

2. Excess Material Stuff. This goes right along with #1. Need to continue to declutter physical objects and not buy things just for the heck of it. Trying to consume less, simply be, and live, more.

3. Yelling at my kids. Ugh, I do not like to be a yeller. Sometimes my son just pushes me over the edge! My mother used to curse me when I was a child (by the way, I remember seeing the book The Strong-Willed Child on her bookshelf and thinking, "Why does she need to read that?" Ha!) and she would say to me, "One day I hope you have a little girl just like you!" Well, I think my little girl has a strong will but is also a bit more docile, but Jackson...whooo boy, he is me in a little physical boy body, and he knows how to push my buttons! Working on staying level with me and remembering that he is 4, and he does not control the universe.

4. Negative self-talk. Did you know that there is actual scientific evidence that what previously we thought of a "new-agey" affirmations actually build new pathways in our brains? I think this website is one that gives some scientific info about it. It's Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. So, I am going to continue to try to replace negative self-talk with positive stuff, and hope that it helps to heal me and to direct my life in positive ways!

I'm kind of off-topic from THINGS here, aren't I...let's get back to basics...

5. The leather skirt from the Gap that I bought about 7 years ago. I really need to let it go, even though I think I either wore it once or not at all. I would like to wear it again, but it is simply not my size...

6. Crap from the basement. I have a wonderful "cleaning lady" -- I prefer to call her my cleaning personal trainer, because I usually work alongside her -- and we have decluttered many areas of my house, but we haven't yet tackled the ucky basement. Perhaps that will be in our future for 2011...

7. Junk on the side porch. Why is that a collection area for random yuck that doesn't have another home? We have an outdoor shed, so if there are things that belong in there, they should go in there. If they don't belong there, they should go in the garbage!

8. Credit card debt. I have made myself an "aggressive debt elimination plan" and if I may a nominal amount each month to eliminate some balances on smaller cards, I will be credit-card-debt-free by April 2012. This also assumes that I stop USING the cards, or that if I use them, I pay them off in full each month when I make new purchases. This is a serious goal, and I think I will feel much freer without credit card bills to pay each month. This also ties in with accumulating less material objects.

9. Collections of catalogs. Yes, there is something about looking at catalogs in physical form rather than shopping online, but seriously, how many catalogs does one need? I accumulate piles within a week's time...ridiculous! Plus, it feeds into the consumerism and materialism as I gaze longingly at the objects within the pages of said catalogs...better to be out of sight, out of mind.

10. Crap in my purse. I have so much junk in my purse, and yet even when I go places, I often leave the purse in the car and just take my wallet into a restaurant or store, especially when I'm pushing the stroller. So why do I haul so much junk around in my purse? I honestly don't know...I guess so it's there whenever I decide that I *do* need it, which is who-knows-when...

11. Man, this already seems like a lot to get rid of. Not that any of it is painful, but I guess since I did groupings of stuff and crap and whatnot, it's more categorical than it is just single items. Anyway, I think the final thing is to streamline my Netflix subscription. I currently have the unlimited 3-a-month, but I regret to confess that I just sent something back last week that I'd had since January 2010. I like not having late fees, but why am I also paying $20 a month to hold onto something for 11 months? Ridiculous! I need to maybe move to the one-a-month plan, so that when I really want something, it forces me to send the previous DVD back. That or use the Blockbuster or Redbox boxes that are all over the place in our town.

So, voila! At least I have one post done on the appropriate day...perhaps a goal of this week will be to catch up and STAY caught up!

reverb 10: day seven

Catching up, once again:

reverb 10

December 7

Community: Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

I really love my twitter community. Well, I shouldn't call them mine, my tweeps, that is, but I love that I have a community of pastors at the ready for questions that I can just throw out there, and within minutes have an extensive discussion going.

It's easy than keeping up with blog rings, though I tremendously adore RevGalBlogPals and would like to set a goal of posting there most during 2011.


One amazing thing about the interwebs is the way that everything intersects. Friends I've met on Twitter have become friends on Facebook, and friends I've met on RevGalBlogPals have become friends on Twitter and Facebook, and round and round it goes.

In person, I'm grateful for the community I've found with a few good friends this year, and the ways in which I have "guarded my fences," as my therapist would say, and withdrawn from community that wasn't nurturing me, even among pastors (imagine that!).

Looking so forward to continuing the Twitter community into 2011, and beyond!

if you don't read anything else today, read this!

I know I am getting annoying if you are my friend on Facebook AND on Twitter AND you read my blog, but I was catching up on my reader today and I read this and you should read it, too.

reverb 10: day six: make (AKA I love my Keurig!)

reverb 10

December 6
Make: What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Okay, I'm going to take this very literally: the last thing that I made was a cup of Keurig coffee.
And I love my Keurig. My husband calls it "each-man-for-himself" coffee (which he says very pejoratively.) However, it is wonderful thing. We have one at church and we have one, now, at home (we also have a 10-cup maker...we are definitely a coffee-drinking couple.)

Anyway, I am not (most certainly not!) being paid by Keurig to write this, but I confess that I take any opportunity to gush about Keurig, and I also don't make very much stuff, so this is my chance to tell you what I do make.

Now, to be real. I would love, love, LOVE to get back into knitting again. But I would also like to read lots and lots of books that I haven't read that are on my shelf. I would like to knit a scarf, or something wonderful, or something that I can show off on this blog, even if it's a travel mug cozy for my Starbucks.

But I don't know when I will get to do any of this, because, alas, I have two small and active children. And they are a handful. And my son demands every ounce of attention until he falls asleep at night, which is not early enough for me to keep my peepers open after he finally crashes. So I read about a page or two of one of the many books on my pile, and then I read with one eye, and then I read with no eyes. And so I certainly don't think knitting will make a reappearance in my life any time soon. But a girl can dream....

reverb 10: day five

reverb 10

December 5

Let Go: What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I think this was a formational year for me in letting go of ideas of parish ministry and learning more about what it is really like. Letting go of any desire to be the "ruler" of the church -- a desire that I barely knew existed, but which reared its ugly head at times when my own defenses against it were down.

I grew up watching my father be a truly beloved pastor -- until I was in seminary, I didn't even know that there was conflict in churches! Are you kidding me, everybody seemed to worship my dad and by default, our family!

Learning about the real nitty-gritty of ministry has been a process for me, one that I am feeling my way through every day. I came to my call with a desire to serve, not run, the church, but sometimes I need to be more hands-on than hands-off. I came to the call with a desire to listen to the people, but sometimes I'm still disappointed when they don't confide in me about things I learn through other parishioners. I'm learning that the church is the members--the way they support one another, the way they guide and strengthen one another. The church is NOT me...I knew this intellectually before, but I am putting it into practice, and that has involved letting go of some ego needs, letting go of some presumptions, letting go of some desires to come first in the minds of my parishioners.

It sounds so arrogant and haughty even to write about it here, but it is something I'm willing to confess. As humble as I thought I was, sometimes I even used my humility arrogantly, if that makes any sense. Ministering in a rural setting, with folks who have known each other before I was a twinkle in my parents' eye (which is true in most churches, certainly not unique to my situation), has been what has truly humbled me and what continues to teach me what true service in ministry is all about.

reverb 10: day four: wonder

reverb 10

December 4

Wonder: How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

This is an interesting question for me. When I think of wonder, I think of God, and when I think of something ongoing pertaining to wonder and to God, I think of the Holy Spirit.

Honestly, I don't know where I'd be in my life or in my ministry these days without a firm belief in the Holy Spirit and her work. (And yes, to me, she is a distinctly feminine force, to the point that when I see hymns that talk about the Spirit and call it "him," I think, "Who are they talking about?")



I love the days where I feel a sense of wonder--I strive for it to be every day. I love to get goosebumps when someone tells me an almost unbelievable story that can only be true if I believe in the Holy Spirit and the mystery of God.

I have learned more about wonder since becoming a pastor but also since becoming a mother. I try not to rush past the wonder that my children share with me when they see something that, to me, is ordinary, but to them is extraordinary.

Whether it's a train for my son (a real, live, moving and chugging and whistling train!) or the cat and her soft fur for my daughter, these everyday objects are where the wonder is. Isn't that the truth for those of us who are "grown-ups" as well? I believe that the more we cultivate wonder in the ordinary, the more it finds us, in both the ordinary and the extraordinary.

(Photo attribution: http://i274.photobucket.com/albums/jj245/shekinaspeaks/Invocation3.jpg)

reverb 10: day three on day four

I am fairly certain that this month will go this way: that I will not get all of my prompts done on their appropriate days. But I will try to at least accomplish a response to each prompt at some point in the month.

Another side note: there is a question on the reverb 10 site that asks via Twitter:

"What's your creativity environment like for responding to #reverb10 prompts?
Do you listen to music? Is it quiet? Are you alone?"

I had to almost snort when I read this, since right now I am preparing to do this blog post with two children rolling around on the floor next to me, repeating each other saying "Ouchie, ouchie." And this while watching the Spiderman movie, which of course is not age-appropriate but which Jack now loves, thanks to my dear husband.


So, with all of that being said, time to revisit the prompt from yesterday, Friday, December 3.

reverb 10

December 3

Moment: Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The moment that first came to mind was during an intense period of ministry at the beginning of last summer. Beginning with Mother's Day, there was a time where we experienced just about 6 deaths in a row at church. On Mother's Day, an otherwise completely healthy woman had a heart attack, which led to a week-long hospitalization before her death on Friday. That was the first funeral of this particular period of illness, death, and funerals.

Then I had a funeral on the Friday before Father's Day, and on Father's Day another dear soul from the church passed away. Her celebration of life was held on the Wednesday after Father's Day.

It so happened that the week after Father's Day was also our Vacation Bible School week at church, and my particular moment happened the night before the funeral. I came outside the church building with my kids with me, into this beautiful dusky night, and in the field in front of me, the kids were playing kickball. They were laughing and running and having a blast, and many of their parents were watching and coaching and intervening when necessary.

Then I turned my head to the left, and there I saw the grave prepared for our dear soul's interment the next day.

The mix of the images and feelings and sounds: the grave prepared in the cemetery, the kids running and playing in the field, my own children at my side, the song "Untitled Hymn" by Chris Rice running through my head, my sense of call to this congregation and gratitude for being at this place -- all of this makes that particular evening experience my Moment for 2010.

reverb 10: day two

reverb 10

December 2

Writing: What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I goof around online each day. I shop for things I don't need, I research items to buy that I also don't need. I click on links and follow links around and just generally waste time.

I love the website 750 words because it helps me to get writing done with focus and with a goal in mind. However, I make many stops at many links along the way to that site!

I would like to be more self-disciplined and more focused on writing--not for publication or for sermons, but to get words out of my head, to clear my mind, and to improve the general craft of writing for myself.

reverb 10: a day late, but hopefully not a dollar short

reverb 10

December 1:

One Word: Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Settling.

I feel like 2010 has been all about settling in for me. It's not settling as in setting for something; that would have negative implications. But it's a settling in, a grounding of spirit, a maturation that I'm feeling.

I'm continuing to settle into being a wife (after 6 1/2 years, I'm still settling!),

a mother (Jack just turned 4 at the end of October and I'm still getting used to parenting him and also Irene, who will be 2 in January),

a pastor (getting closer now to that 18th-month-mark at church, starting to do things for the second time and continuing to build relationships with the people here, hoping that I'll continue to minister in this place for a good while longer),

and settling into being the adult version of me (at 28, almost 29, I'm still working on this and have a long time to continue working on it, but for now, it's good!)

At this point, one year from today, I would like to have my word be similar, perhaps "grounded," or "calm" or "energized." Other attractive words would be "progress" and for me, in 2011, that might take the form of the word "simplify."

May it be so!