tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-204534492024-03-07T21:10:04.914-05:00Neverperfect.Alwaysrealrealsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.comBlogger209125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-31649039852170125722023-09-28T13:32:00.001-04:002023-09-28T13:32:42.049-04:00welp<p> I really hate blog posts that are just all about how I said I would post more but I haven't. So, I'll do this once and use this as a public confession and time to change course and let myself off the hook, and then go gently into trying to use this space more often but letting go of the commitment to post every weekday. Otherwise every other post will be me coming back a week later saying that I didn't do what I said I would do, and that would be insufferable. So, here's to the Aries full moon and to redirecting and showing up a little more flexibly!</p>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-15655570603326166202023-09-12T19:03:00.002-04:002023-09-12T19:03:40.060-04:00practicing forgiveness<p> I'm preparing for my sermon on Sunday, which is going to be about practicing forgiveness...current working title is "Practicing Forgiveness in a Punishing World." </p><p>Other alternative titles:</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Making Amends, and Mending the World</li><li>Open-Hearted Participation in God's Mercy</li></ul><div>Apparently a few weeks ago, I thought I might call it "A Sermon on Forgiveness - With a Twist." This is according to an email I sent on August 28. I don't think I'll go that direction now...the twist sounds a little self-serving or precious.</div><div><br /></div><div>I like the idea of using the phrase open-hearted in the title, but if I don't, that word will still likely make it into the content of the sermon. The guidance to remain open-hearted no matter what is happening around me is wisdom that has served me well especially over the last 8-9 years, and ESPECIALLY over the last 2-3 years. Being merciful people, and people who strive to keep our side of the street clean, helps a lot to keep our hearts open. More will be revealed.</div><p></p>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-90859260422033756342023-09-11T09:48:00.001-04:002023-09-11T09:48:13.027-04:00creativity is a life force: open the nearest sail <p>Admittedly, I’ve been in a funk lately. I woke up this morning and though, Am I depressed?</p><p>At first I told myself I could do the bare minimum today. Just get the deliverables done, meet the deadlines, show up for the meetings and appointments already on my calendar.</p><p>Then I had a conversation with a friend and we were talking about creativity and I had the memory that creativity is a life force. I’m sure someone who is not me said that before. And then the image came forth of needing to open the sails on a boat to harness the wind.</p><p>I’ve heard many times before the idea of making small changes in direction to get where you want to go. The suggestion to alter the coordinates just by one degree and end up in a totally different place. But I had the idea that I have plugged the coordinates into the control panel (do you do that on a boat or is that an airplane?) but I’m sitting on the deck rocking in one place because the sails aren’t open. So for today, I’m opening the sail closest to me, the one that takes the least effort to see some movement. Maybe later I’ll have them all open and harness some major wind force. </p>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-9239277606557840772023-09-08T10:25:00.003-04:002023-09-08T10:25:44.634-04:00showing up each day<p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">Welcome back to me!</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;">I've decided to practice showing up every day and posting my thoughts, whatever is coming up for me in my life, in my thinking and feeling, whatever wants to come forth and be shared. I thought about starting a new blog, and if I had it would've been called "Showing up," but when gmail showed me that my existing blog is still around, and I stand by the name of it and the perspective it carries, I thought, Why not? So, here we are. I hope to stick to the practice of writing something here at least Monday through Friday - I'll give myself a break on the weekends for now. Some posts may be long, some short, some contain links, some contain graphics, and some just contain words. And we'll see what happens!</span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-alternates: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space-collapse: preserve;"><br /></span></div>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-14280878579549757302016-04-20T13:28:00.000-04:002016-04-20T13:28:15.209-04:00the irony of people pleasingWhen you're too hooked in to people-pleasing and worrying about how other people feel (and how they feel about you), the irony is that you will mirror your moods based on their reactions or the energy they're putting out.<br />
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You may walk into a room happy and content, but they immediately start grumbling about how bad their day was, or worse, something that you did that they're unhappy about. Immediately, you shift your energy from lightness and joy to match their grouchy, murky negative energy (at least I do...or did...or am trying not to.)<br />
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Other days, you might find that you are SO happy and SO ebullient that you walk into a room and you don't even care about the energy of others. So what if they had a bad day? You didn't! And so you are yourself and you are shiny and happy and, guess what? They might get a little of that shine on them!<br />
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Being empathetic and compassionate and tuned into others is really a gift, but it can definitely be taken too far.<br />
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The more you try to make people happy, the more you might match their energy and both depress/suppress your own and also take on some of their negativity. Protecting your own energy and staying in your own joy NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM will help. And, the irony is, it helps more people!<br />
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You think that by pleasing people, you are doing good. You think that you are solving problems and keeping people happy and having a positive effect on their lives. But when you let them suck you down instead of spreading your joy and maybe even affecting them with it, less people are happy! They're still not happy, and now YOU'RE not happy! Why not own your own joy and power and light and allow it to infuse every room you enter? Who cares if other people are annoyed by it? And they're probably not!realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-4680691100253454882016-04-19T14:51:00.001-04:002016-04-19T14:51:50.191-04:00on shining your light even when people are mad at youI've been reading <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Light-New-Black-Answering-Callings-ebook/dp/B00UASUMOG/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1461047439&sr=8-1&keywords=light+is+the+new+black" target="_blank">Light is the New Black</a></i> by <a href="http://rebeccacampbell.me/" target="_blank">Rebecca Campbell</a>. I resonate with the idea of being a light worker/light bearer. (And, by the way, as soon as I say that about myself, what immediately comes up for me is "Who do you think you are?" Which clearly means I have more work to do around shame: <a href="http://brenebrown.com/" target="_blank">Brene Brown</a> says that shame has two scripts: "Who do you think you are?" and "I'll never be good enough.")<br />
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Anyway, I DO think that I am a light bearer of some kind. I've always wanted to be, from the time I heard the Counting Crows song "A Long December" and the line<br />
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All at once you look across a crowded room</div>
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To see the way that light attaches to a girl</div>
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Okay, so I've now shared way more than I meant to about myself than I meant to...guess we're really getting at the heart of vulnerability here! </div>
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But what I really came to write about today was the struggle I have with continuing to let my light shine when I've messed up, or when someone is mad at me. I'd like to try to break this down, and maybe we can all learn from it. Here's what happens when I mess up (unintentionally):</div>
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1. Think everything is fine.</div>
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2. Find out everything is not fine (and someone is blaming me for it not being fine).</div>
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3. Feel like a fool/a failure/I should have known better/how could this happen?</div>
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4. I don't deserve to shine my light. Bad Sarah! Go hide in a room, nobody wants to see you.</div>
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5. Lick my wounds; run a tape of defensive thoughts in my mind (But I didn't know! I did my best!) Or admit where I was wrong or mistaken, and still beat myself up about it. I should have known better.</div>
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6. Eventually pull myself out of self-loathing and gradually polish my lamp again and get back to shining (and this process can take hours, days, or weeks, unfortunately.)</div>
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I'd like to get to the point where it doesn't take so long for me to shine the light again. I realize that the only person who can control this is me. Even if I messed up, it doesn't mean I have to completely extinguish my light. I can continue to shine and still work on solving the problem, or I can realize that just because someone is unhappy with me, it's not actually all my fault and it's quite a bit about them. </div>
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The main point I want to get to is the <b>it's not up to other people whether or not we shine our light.</b> We need to keep shining even if we messed up. Even if we were wrong. Even if we were completely misguided. </div>
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If I could tally up the amount of times in my life that I put out my light because of what other people were thinking (or what I <i>thought </i>they were thinking -- ugh, see how exhausting it is to be in my brain???), I would be able to cover walls and walls of my house with tally marks. I mean, I <i>seriously</i> do this. </div>
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I know this starts with self-love. Even as I began this post, this famous quote from Marianne Williamson started running through my mind:</div>
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I have loved this quote from the moment I heard it (even mis-attributed to Nelson Mandela). It's hard, but we can do it! Our job is to keep shining the light! It's OUR LIGHT! No one else's. So let's keep shining.</div>
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These thoughts are a major work in progress...I'd love to know what you think! What do you think about your light? What are your tips and tricks for keeping your light shining even during difficult times? I'm sure I'll be writing more about this in the days to come, so I'd love to integrate your thoughts and comments as I continue to think about this. :) </div>
realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-51926554630035448572016-04-09T13:29:00.000-04:002016-04-09T13:29:26.083-04:00a flash of insight about food<b><i>What I eat impacts the way my body feels, not the way my mind or my heart feels.</i></b><br />
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My husband is away this weekend and so last night I had a great idea to buy movie theater popcorn from the theater but to bring it home and eat it while we had a movie night. (I actually do still think it was a good idea, and the movie night overall was a good idea.) Whenever I eat a ton of popcorn (and I don't seem to be able to have it around me without eating a ton of it), I do not feel well. Even as I write this, I'm sitting here on the morning after with a rumbly tumbly and a low-grade, salty headache.<br />
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I realize, especially with eating things that I know will put my body into distress later, that I'm eating to try to change how my heart feels, or how my mind feels (thinks), and it doesn't work. Not that there's necessarily anything <i>wrong</i> with it (and it can even be an <a href="http://isabelfoxenduke.com/how-emotional-eating-is-saving-your-ass/" target="_blank">alert</a> that something is going on that I'm not even conscious of yet), but eating the food that I think will make me feel better generally backfires.<br />
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I'm learning that it's not what I eat or don't eat that impacts how my heart feels. That's a different matter. If my heart feels like it needs buttered popcorn and red wine and leftover Easter candy, what does that really mean? It probably means that I wish my husband were home, not away for the weekend. It means that parenting alone makes me anxious and overwhelmed. It means that maybe I wish I were hanging out with some girlfriends who have kids, too, so that we could all be in it together.<br />
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Some of <i>those</i> things I can work with. I can't make my husband stay home -- he needs to travel and I travel quite a bit, too. As for parenting alone, I know I can do it. I prefer to parent as part of a team, but I'm capable of doing it alone. I can reach out to friends to get together today and tomorrow now that I've realized that's something that I yearn for. Those things, I can work with. They require me taking some action and being conscious, but following up on those realizations could actually get me somewhere. Buttered popcorn isn't going to do those things for me. I have to do them myself.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-43807897000261163892016-04-07T14:38:00.000-04:002016-04-07T14:38:40.539-04:00on ditching figuring out my purpose. or letting it be reeeeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy broadI've been super cranky today. Because I got stuck in this circle of trying to find my purpose. Not a cycle, not even a swirl, a CIRCLE. Like a chasing-my-tail, about-to-fall-over circle.<br />
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All it did was put me in a bad mood. What is my purpose? Am I living it out? How can I live it out? Can I live it out before I FIGURE it out? Will people around me assign it to me before I figure it out for myself?<br />
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Then I talked to my husband, and in his normal irreverent way, he said some bad words about having a purpose. He told me to forget it. He said he doesn't have a purpose and he's totally fine with it. He said he thinks people who are super-sure about their purpose are lying and possibly misguided. Or maybe they're totally cool. But it's not because they figured out their purpose, it's because they're just chill anyway.<br />
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Then I thought about what I love to do. I love to love people. I love to be open-hearted and have my arms wide open and shower people with love and affection and unconditional positive regard. I love to listen to people and know their whole stories. I love to sit with people and try to surround them with comforting energy and be fully present with them. I love to learn and grow.<br />
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I do NOT love to try to make people do things. I am not a coercer. I am not a motivational speaker (well, possibly I am but only for people who want to be motivated, and then I think sometimes they hear what they want to hear.) I do not love to organize people or plan events. Ack! Freaks me out.<br />
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So, those are some simple distinctions.<br />
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Today, I either have no purpose, or my purpose is to love people. That's the reeeeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyy broad purpose: love. At one point, I thought my purpose was to be a healer, and that might not be too far off. But for today, I need it to be even broader. True, I probably can't monetize it to make 7 figures on the Internet. It's the kind of purpose that will lead me to jobs that also have me putting myself out there in ways that might mean I get hurt a lot, too. But I think it's right for me.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-6466701959865814812016-04-06T13:12:00.000-04:002016-04-06T13:12:23.589-04:00if the only reason is because of what people will think, that's not good enoughMy son declared that he's wearing the same shorts to school for a third day in a row. My reaction on the SECOND day was that it's not okay. However, this kid has a will of steel and battling with him is not high on my list of fun things to do. So, second day okay.<br />
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On the cusp of this third day, I am thinking the thoughts I had about the second day, only magnified.<br />
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What will his teacher think?<br />
What will his classmates think? Will they go home and tell their parents that Jackson wore the same shorts for the third day in a row?<br />
What will you all who are reading this think?<br />
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Honestly, those are the only reasons to confiscate the shorts and refuse to allow him to wear them. '<br />
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They're not THAT dirty (no, I am not going to smell them.) The eyeball test makes them look practically clean, except they've got a distinctive belt that proves to me that they are indeed the same shorts from the past two days.<br />
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Nothing BAD is going to happen to them from wearing them. If the other kids in his class pick on him for wearing them, that's something he's got to deal with. I don't want to layer on top of it by asking, "What will your friends think?" I've got enough issues; I don't need him to have the same ones some day.<br />
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It's kind of gross. Maybe even REALLY gross. But it's actually not that big of a deal. I'm not going to go into a spiral on mom-guilt about laundry, because the truth is if I could get them off his body (and he has actually showered each day and put them back on...so I guess you could make the argument that if I were quick enough I could've snatched them and taken them to the washer while he was in the shower) then it would be an epic battle. I am SO TIRED of epic battles with this beautiful boy. I just want to love him and hang out with him.<br />
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So, the only reason I would forbid it is because of what other people think. And that's not a good enough reason to battle.<br />
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It's a reason that I do or don't do a lot of stuff. It's been a reason pretty much since I was 3, I think. It's kind of getting old. I'd like to quit it. So I'll start by protecting my son from my neuroses (in this case). And I'll try to learn from it myself.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-12621910289560488012016-04-04T19:14:00.001-04:002016-04-04T19:16:05.905-04:00you can't always say something to make it all better<i>First, a disclaimer: both the book and the article I'm going to link to in this post got me riled up in such a way that they led to me writing this, but I don't necessarily consider this post a critique of either one. Also, I have no idea why the fonts got so nutty after I quoted the other article. Right now I'm trying to hold myself to getting my thoughts out there without too much worry about formatting, so that's why I'm not fixing it :)</i><br />
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A few Saturdays ago, I was reading the wonderful book <a href="http://www.homeboyindustries.org/shop-homeboy/view/tattoos-on-the-heart-english-paperback/" target="_blank">Tattoos on the Heart </a> by <a href="http://www.homeboyindustries.org/fatherg/" target="_blank">Father Gregory Boyle</a>, and as I was reading, I found myself getting more and more agitated about a situation that happened in my life/family/ministry/community. Unfortunately, because in some ways it's ongoing and in other ways to describe it would be to call people out, I can't go into the details. Broadly, I can say that it involved a family (not mine), a transgression, and my desire to offer forgiveness.<br />
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So I'm reading the book, and it has all kinds of profound anecdotes about conversations that have happened between Father G and the homies with whom he works, and I start imagining that I'm going to go to the home of this family and I'm going to extend myself and we're going to have this profound conversation and the youth who committed the transgression is going to see my boundless compassion and I'm going to make an everlasting impact on his life. (Yeah, I can see that when I write it out that my thoughts are straight up delusional.) And then someone rings the doorbell and asks me for a ride to precisely the neighborhood where this family lives and it feels like a sign from God that I should go talk to the family.<br />
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We get there and I go to their apartment and things start going really differently. First, the youth in question is not home. Second, I realize as I launch in to referencing "the incident" that there is not one flicker of recognition on his mom's face. Then, I realize that I am probably in the role of informing her what happened, and she doesn't even know. And finally, she denies that he had any role in the incident whatsoever, which then leads me to doubting myself and the information I've received.<br />
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Long story short, it went NOTHING like any of the profound conversations in the book.<br />
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Then this morning, I read <a href="http://dineanddish.net/2016/03/living-excess-struggle/" target="_blank">this post</a>, which is lovely and also profound and I'm not criticizing at all, but when I read this passage, I found myself wanting to scream:<br />
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<i>This past week while volunteering I met a man who told me he’s only been on the streets for a short while. His 12 year old son was killed in a car accident the prior year and the grief and magnitude of the situation literally ripped his family apart. He lost his job, home, wife…and is now on the streets. When he walked in to the kitchen I asked him how his day was and he said “it’s been a really bad day, unfortunately”. I told him we were going to change that, led him to his seat for lunch, and told my friend Kristy to take extra good care of him. He was served a nutritious meal of top sirloin with onions and mushrooms, asparagus, butternut squash, baked potato and dessert. As he was leaving, I asked him if his day had improved… with his eyes brimming with tears, he said “You absolutely do not know how happy this made me. Thank you.”</i></div>
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<i>We went on to chat and his attitude and outlook had changed dramatically from when he first walked in the door. Food, and the chance to be nourished with a hot meal, can change lives. It truly can.</i></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Now, I absolutely believe that this story is true. I absolutely believe that the man said what he said, and that it had an amazing impact on the author. At the same time, what I want to say is that<b> even if the man's day had not become better, even if he was entirely ungrateful for the meal he had received, or if not ungrateful was just sort of ambivalent about it or even unresponsive, the act of serving the meal would still have been worthwhile.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">And so I worry that stories like this one, and like the ones in the book, are setting us up to expect something from the recipients of our compassion. And when we don't receive that something (gratitude; awe; profound conversation; lives changed), we think our act wasn't worthy, and then maybe we won't do it anymore.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">And at the same time, if I'm really honest, do you know how much EGO I had tied up in the hypothetical conversation I thought I might be having on that Saturday a few days ago? I was thinking that <b>I </b>was going to say these amazing things to change the hearts of everyone in the family. <b>I </b>was going to make a profound impact. <b>I </b>was going to have just the right words to say to elicit the hoped-for response.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">Well, guess what? I didn't. I didn't get any of that. And so I left feeling like kind of a big dummy. I left feeling foolish and like I had just told a secret that wasn't meant to be shared yet and utterly confused by it all. And I may even have done more harm than good, truthfully (I actually don't think so in this particular setting, but it was possible.)</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">We have to try, yes. We have to reach out and do the right thing, yes. But we can't always say something to make it all better. When people are sad, bereft, in denial, lying to you and others, and in any other number of varied circumstances, your words might not have an impact. And you have to live with it. You can try your best, and sometimes your best doesn't have an effect. What happens then is that you become humble, and you learn, and you reflect. And all of those things are good to do. </span></div>
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And next time something similar happens, I hope you go right back out there to try again. I have to, it's part of my job. And we all should, as part of our job of being human. But maybe we shouldn't set ourselves up to think we're going to get a giant pat on the back for everything we do. There's something about US wrapped up in that kind of expectation. Other people are entitled to their own responses, even if we don't like them. We have to keep being ourselves, and keep putting ourselves out there, but not trying to bend others' reactions to our will, because then we're not doing anyone, ourselves or the other people, any favors.</div>
realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-8065067938864692352016-04-03T01:33:00.000-04:002016-04-03T01:33:10.601-04:00my jeans felt tight todayI have ONE pair of jeans with the number 6 inside the label. ONE PAIR! (Honestly, I also think it's a fluke; they're "girlfriend jeans" which means they're oversized and meant to be a little extra schlumpy but not quite as schlumpy as "boyfriend jeans.") And today they fit tightly.<br />
<br />
This is after a week of working more on intuitive eating, and<a href="http://isabelfoxenduke.com/" target="_blank"> eating without restrictions </a> and also, interestingly, starting to work out again.<br />
<br />
I've been holding off on working out because the Bright Line Eating program recommends that you eliminate workouts while you're on the weightloss plan -- both because really you don't have enough calories on the plan to give you the energy for workouts, and also because apparently, working out can mess with sticking to the plan because your sneaky brain wants to rationalize that you should eat more because you worked out. All of this is actually fine with me for the moment; it may be flawed, but at the same time, I see the reasoning. However, I have actually recently been CRAVING working out!<br />
<br />
Monday I went running because I felt like I had so much nervous, jangly energy that I really wanted to run it off. Running was harder than I thought it would be, though at the same time, I guess I sort of did better than I thought I would. I set the timer on my phone for 30 minutes so that I stayed out there with some sort of objective measure instead of calling it before I should, and I ran as much as I could for as long as I could and then switched to walking until I felt ready to run again (rinse and repeat.) And I didn't run for as long as I would've wanted to, but also made myself run up a hill toward the end while battling the part of me that was chanting, "I can't do this," and countering with, "Yes I can! Yes I can! Yes I can!" That was part of working out that I remember liking -- my body showing my brain that it COULD do something that my brain was saying it couldn't do.<br />
<br />
Then I worked out with a trainer and did a strength-training routine on Wednesday, and then repeated it myself yesterday.<br />
<br />
So perhaps my jeans fit a little tight today because of the inflammation from workouts. Perhaps because I'm at a low enough weight that I can't maintain it without being really strict and careful.<br />
<br />
Last night I had a cheeseburger and a few drinks. I also finished off the last of a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Certainly none of that has a place in Bright Line Eating. But I'm also trying to lift restrictions, and so all those things have a place on the list of foods I crave. Then today I ate rather haphazardly and ended up with fish, Brussels sprouts, and salad for dinner. So, is this intuitive or a return to restriction? Only time will tell as we see it on a continuum of eating and behavior.<br />
<br />
Thanks for following along and listening in! This promises to be an interesting ride, and I'm glad you're accompanying me on it.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-34823957097723837402016-03-29T21:14:00.005-04:002016-03-29T21:14:56.444-04:00Back!!! And now with 100% more video<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/7vsT6c-9nBs/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7vsT6c-9nBs?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />
I'm back! And now with vlogging! I decided to utilize this blog again for a new "project" in which I try to document what moving from something like <a href="https://rq263.isrefer.com/go/m16quiz/realsarah/" target="_blank">Bright Line Eating</a> to something more along the lines of <a href="http://www.intuitiveeating.org/" target="_blank">Intuitive Eating</a> or something like a <a href="http://summerinnanen.com/" target="_blank">body positive</a> <a href="http://libbycrow.com/agreaterlovebodylovevideoseries/?mc_cid=ef17cd8885&mc_eid=6a0dfc80b1" target="_blank">no-diet-at-all</a> (<a href="http://thefuckitdiet.com/" target="_blank">warning, this one is explicit, but brilliant!</a>)<br />
<br />
Anyway, I am going to work REALLY HARD to try to figure out how to make this site look better, and maybe even move the whole shebang to something else. But in the meantime, I just wanted to get going before I lost my nerve.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-52551673007963879742014-03-05T18:54:00.002-05:002014-03-05T18:54:30.972-05:00ash wednesdayThe other day on Facebook, <a href="http://momastery.com/" target="_blank">Glennon from Momastery</a> posted this quote:<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Okay friends! My March Motto is as follows: Everything worth doing is not worth doing well. Perfect is the enemy of done. Good enough is the friend of done. In sum: perfect is our enemy and good enough is our friend. </span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><div style="text-align: center;">
We need to do it and be done with it. </div>
</span><div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
So, here I am. Going to try to say something every day, good, perfect, or otherwise!<br />
<br />
Ash Wednesday is today, and it's one of my favorite church observances.<br />
<br />
Earlier today I had a funeral, and on the casket, when I poured sand in the form of a cross, I said, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust." <br />
<br />
Tonight, I will form the shape of the cross on living people's foreheads and remind them that they are dust, and to dust they shall return.<br />
<br />
I value the humility of Ash Wednesday, the perspective that it gives.<br />
<br />
We are mortal; we are dust; we can do amazing and special things, but we still can die. And that is okay.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-77805922662687975232013-08-20T09:32:00.002-04:002013-08-20T09:32:47.482-04:00fragilitySome days, out of nowhere, I feel fragile.<br />
<br />
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I don't know why...sometimes I want to say, "There's a disturbance in the force." Is my dad around somewhere, poking through the veil between heaven and earth with a finger, a hand, an arm? What causes this sense of being so fragile I might cry at any thought? I did cry on the way to drop the children off at daycare this morning, crying along to songs from Lemonade Mouth, to "We Will Rock You," songs that do not elicit tears.<br />
<br />
But when I feel fragile, I also feel more in touch. More in touch with the delicate nature of life, of existence, of nature and movement and the atmosphere. I feel more connected to the members of the congregation I serve, like I have a more expansive place now to hold their sadness, their anxiety, their trepidation.<br />
<br />
I can count about 5 people right now I know who are making the slow decline into dementia. It breaks my heart. For some reason, when I thought about ministry, I didn't think about the encounter with the loss of minds, the loss of reason. There have been times in the past week where I haven't been sure what is true and what is an apparition. I try to just be with people, not to constantly tick off in my mind if what they're saying is accurate to reality or not. Try to keep them safe, from wandering off down the hospital corridor to speak to "those people on the bench; I should go talk to them." There is no bench, there are no people. Why does this happen to the mind later in life? Is the mind worn out? Parts gone missing? <br />
<br />
God draw near, be with us, help us all.realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-76396302990978197682013-08-15T10:54:00.002-04:002013-08-15T10:54:32.375-04:00what's newI was listening to the <a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/balanced-bites-modern-paleo/id461802297" target="_blank">Balanced Bites podcast </a> (more about why momentarily) this morning, and the idea came up that people should blog daily...huh! Daily! It got the juices flowing again about whether or not I could keep up with this blog. And I decided I would try it. Why not?<br />
<br />
I will try to blog as much as I can, let's put it that way. Daily is highly unlikely to happen, although maybe I'll surprise myself. <br />
<br />
I don't always know what I'll write about. Right now, these are the things that I am thinking about, in no particular order:<br />
<br />
1) What makes a "good" (or healthy might be a more appropriate word) church member?<br />
2) Paleo -- this is why I was listening to Balanced Bites!<br />
3) Carb back-loading<br />
4) Lifting heavier weights<br />
5) Training (running) for my marathon<br />
6) Fundraising (money) for my marathon (see the nifty little thingy on the side...you can give me some money if you want!)<br />
7) Reading the book <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Interestings-Novel-Meg-Wolitzer/dp/1594488398?tag=ap0a7eddd0-20" target="_blank">The Interestings</a></i> by Meg Wolitzer<br />
8) Thanking God and Jesus and the saint of lost things that my iPad was in my church office and hadn't been lifted from my van yesterday<br />
9) Worrying about money and still trying to stick to a budget<br />
10) Managing time and getting all the ducks in a row for the kids for this fall: Jack is playing Smurf (seriously, Smurf) football; Irene and Maggie will likely start gymnastics in a few weeks; Jack begins 1st grade next Thursday; Irene will move from Pre-School to Pre-K, Maggie will move from the Toddler Room to the 3-year-old room at daycare (although she just turns 2 on the 28th...but maybe that means she will potty train ASAP, yippee!!!)<br />
<br />
I guess that is enough for now. Perhaps if my "Top 10 Ways You Can Make Pastor Sarah Happy as a Church Member" type sermon comes out well, I'll post the notes here next week...we shall see. I want it to be helpful so that people can grasp my philosophy and understanding of what members can do at church (otherwise why join?) but not be too preachy (haha) or judgey.<br />
<br />
Thanks for reading! Hopefully I'll be writing more and actually cultivate a blog audience. <br />
<br />
Here's a question for ya:<b><i> if you were a pastor, what would you tell members about their participation at church? Also, what's the best book you've read lately?</i></b>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-13430196529958145772013-06-15T16:55:00.002-04:002013-06-15T16:55:51.545-04:00Dear DaddyI was reading over some writing I had done last year when my dad got sick to see if I want to share it as part of my sermon tomorrow on Father's Day. I think I will -- hopefully with minimal tears, please!<br />
<br />
I realized that I quite like some of the writing that I did after he passed away, and why didn't I keep up with it? But anyway, maybe I'll try to revive some of that.<br />
<br />
For now, here is last year's first writing that I did after he was diagnosed, which I shared with him on the day he was admitted to the hospital for his first round of chemo.<br />
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<br />
<br />
March 22, 2012<br />
<br />
Dear Daddy,<br />
I’ve decided to do some writing to you while you’re battling this latest fight that life has set before you. I worry that perhaps the chemo will sap your energy to the point where you’ll be mostly drowsy all the time, and even that at some point we might not be able to come see you if your immunity is too low. And I find that there are so many things that I want to say to you, lessons I want to thank you for teaching me, moments that I remember both from childhood and from recent years, and I don’t want to miss my chance to tell you about them. Not because I feel that you won’t make it through this, but because, as you said about Mom’s 63rd birthday party, why not celebrate the people that you love while they are here to enjoy it? I don’t want to be sharing these memories with other people after you’ve died (in hopefully 40 years), I want to share them with you now.<br />
<br />
Hopefully this will be the first of a series of letters, though sometimes I know I have lofty ambitions for series-types of things and I don’t follow through. But at least I will set down some memories now:<br />
<br />
One that I think is so important is the memory of eating pizza with you at Angelina’s Pizza in Lancaster back when I was first entertaining the notion of going to seminary. If I remember correctly, I hadn’t yet applied, but we stopped by the seminary to look around and go to the book store. I think this was the time when you tried to buy all the books that were reserved for students enrolled in classes. The conversation with Matt (who was working at the bookstore, now is pastoring to the west of us) went something like this:<br />
<br />
Brad: “Oh, I know this author” [picking up book as if to purchase]<br />
Matt: “No, sir, you can’t buy that book, that’s reserved for class?”<br />
Brad: “What about this one?”<br />
Matt: “No”<br />
Brad: “What about this one?”<br />
Matt: “No”<br />
Brad: “What about this one?”<br />
Matt: “No”
and so forth...<br />
<br />
But all kidding aside, I remember sitting with you, eating pizza, and feeling as though just talking to you and sharing a meal, listening to stories probably about people you knew, or Trinity, or something to do with Grandma and Grandpa or growing up, I felt connected to the world in a deeper way than I’d felt in a long time. Deeper than working at Performance Personnel, deeper than studying English Literature at York College, deeper than thinking only about Friday and the weekend as I had grown accustomed to doing. I wanted to have a life that ran deep like yours. I wanted to do something with my life that would connect me to people in a way beyond what I was experiencing then. I wanted to be able to have people talk to me and feel as though there was a depth there, that I could hear anything that had to tell me, that I could really listen and remember, that I could reframe their ideas into stories, the way that you do.<br />
<br />
I hope and pray that people feel that way about me now, and if they do, it is because you inspired me to develop that depth within myself, to seek to understand and learn more about people, to ask questions and be curious about people and their backgrounds and their stories, instead of filling up space in the conversation just yammering about myself.<br />
<br />
I don’t long for a deeper life anymore. I realized that the other day. I know I can continually go deeper, and that life is a cycle and so I may have periods of shallowness, or times when I lose my way, or times when I don’t prioritize the right stuff. But I do feel at this time that there is a depth to my life and my interactions that I am very grateful for. I truly do not believe that I would have sought this amount of depth and authenticity and truth in my life if I had not had you for an example.<br />
<br />
Thank you.<br />
<br />
With the love of a thousand loves (I say this to the kids all the time),<br />
Sarah
realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-90715454812007854882013-03-12T12:11:00.003-04:002013-03-12T12:11:47.805-04:00Chicago 2013, Baby!<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/p5VSOer2f9Q" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<br />
<br />
Why am I posting this video?? (Besides the fact that it's pretty darn cool!)<br />
<br />
Because I just signed up to run the 2013 Chicago Marathon with Team in Training!<br />
<br />
AHHHHHHHHH! (That's a scared scream, but also an exhilarated one!) Both for the training and the fundraising.<br />
<br />
But I know I can do it, and I WANT to do it! Yes!!!!!realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-37760036023137838052013-02-21T10:01:00.001-05:002013-02-21T10:01:19.577-05:00you have to think this is funnyOh my gosh...soooooo funny. There is a reason this has been all over the Interwebs.
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PpccpglnNf0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-81778567431829099632013-01-28T12:18:00.000-05:002013-01-28T12:18:06.068-05:00the fighter<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/bxV-OOIamyk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
<br />
For many reasons, this song seems to define my life right now. Plus I wanted to write a new post so that anyone who comes to my page would see something new at the top of it!<br />
<br />
This is a great motivational song for a dragging workout, by the way!<br />
<br />
<br />realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-28729911802628339282012-12-29T08:05:00.002-05:002012-12-29T08:05:40.811-05:00considering a challengeI clearly haven't been very successful in the past with keeping up when I say I'm going to do a series of blog posts or any kind of daily effort. Yet, I'm considering a challenge.<br />
<br />
I wonder what it would be like to write here about my relationship with money and spending. I think that I overdo it, quite simply. It's one of the areas in my life where I have shame. It could definitely be worse (if I have more expendable income or higher credit limits!), but I think at this point it's bad enough. When I have extra money to spend, I do spend it. And then I feel yucky, and I look at all the <b>stuff </b>that surrounds me and I don't like it. It's actually simple, in terms of being able to connect a yucky feeling to overspending/overconsuming.<br />
<br />
This has been a rough year, with my dad's death and some other unbloggable crud of life. It's also been a rewarding year, as I've gotten myself in running shape and I've achieved the goal of running a half-marathon and am staying with the fitness and weight loss journey.<br />
<br />
The main goal I have for 2013 is to be free of credit card debt. Yes, ultimately, being free of <i>all</i> debt would be a good goal to have, but for 2013 I'm just trying to tackle credit card debt.<br />
<br />
I hope I can write pretty honestly here about my thought process in wishing I could buy something and choosing not to, or refraining from doing an expensive activity in favor of saving my funds. Even just the focus and more public way of addressing it will probably be helpful.<br />
<br />
I also just found this site: http://andthenwesaved.com and it looks helpful. I don't know that I will do the Spending Fast because it intimidates me and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet. It seems like it would completely max out my willpower and leave me a bit bereft. Just the planning for it seems overwhelming. But maybe once I get a bit further out from the brain drain of the Christmas season, I will have some more energy for it.<br />
<br />
Anyway, that's what I'm thinking about...I hope by even putting the intention out here in a more public way that it will help me to stay more accountable than I would have if I'd just kept the idea in my mind....I guess we'll see!realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-49198895113281439622012-11-17T19:35:00.000-05:002012-11-17T19:35:00.332-05:00the struggler, not the expertThese lines from Kristin Armstrong's recent <a href="http://www.womens-running.com/womens-running/how-light-gets" target="_blank">Mile Markers article</a> really resonated with me. This is basically the whole "never perfect, always real" philosophy in one great paragraph. It's how I feel about ministry (when I give sermons), Christianity and faith, parenting, everything.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">The things I write about are the things that I am passionate about, interested in, and fighting for in my life. <em>I do not write about these subjects because I think I am an expert, I write about them because</em> <em>I struggle</em>.
I write about authenticity because I know what it is to be
disingenuous. I write about integrity because I know disgrace (and
grace). I write about courage because I know what it is to be weak. I
write about the power of trying, because I want to be okay with
failing. I write about generosity because I battle selfishness. I
write about joy because I know sorrow. I write about faith because I
almost lost mine, and I know what it is to be broken and in need of
redemption. I write about gratitude because I am thankful - for all of
it.</span></blockquote>
</div>
realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-77193366078101300552012-11-05T21:13:00.002-05:002012-11-05T21:13:44.980-05:00we run for life<iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6r9yzS-DH0w" width="420"></iframe><br />realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-6283057410853683272012-10-31T11:30:00.000-04:002012-10-31T11:30:11.090-04:00why I ran<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEganTeIjA7b43f5jsUqueb_HSqqAJ7UEZ4glDojgbg4N6h24tN1Ri2gEM9svJnpPN7_OqNnsh1xZB2bT9mi1CuwTh7x_3S0qyOWyLIl8OUPmH8C_ciYGMGfPMXAPl2wV7N9PyXNsQ/s1600/hershey_dedicate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEganTeIjA7b43f5jsUqueb_HSqqAJ7UEZ4glDojgbg4N6h24tN1Ri2gEM9svJnpPN7_OqNnsh1xZB2bT9mi1CuwTh7x_3S0qyOWyLIl8OUPmH8C_ciYGMGfPMXAPl2wV7N9PyXNsQ/s400/hershey_dedicate.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-87740759068189100132012-10-25T14:27:00.000-04:002012-10-25T14:27:30.602-04:00I did it!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBFgoK3asmtOXRkPItscfnxn1RGjoq23WeAJ1mgGkhbhzoNm4f7yg4cOw28UBMukt2ab1FPV5mWBYRCiAiNk-RRdY_rd1CrYPMlVJdhO_1B0mQxXgr0anAkqLeoD3VUIJ2X89QXw/s1600/hershey+finish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBFgoK3asmtOXRkPItscfnxn1RGjoq23WeAJ1mgGkhbhzoNm4f7yg4cOw28UBMukt2ab1FPV5mWBYRCiAiNk-RRdY_rd1CrYPMlVJdhO_1B0mQxXgr0anAkqLeoD3VUIJ2X89QXw/s400/hershey+finish.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I finished the Hershey Half Marathon on Sunday in <span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">02:31:53.920! Whew! Who needs all those numbers? Hopefully the next time I run a half, I will shave at least 2 minutes off the time. I'd love to finish under 2:30. So don't need that extra .920 of information!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">The race was fun; perfect weather; felt pretty good. By the end, my knees were killing me. But here, starting out, I was still pretty happy:</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWrsVIqJr8MxXWv3PGBKdh3L87yOtNErxQrYocTZV7zNdcIQcO8joGw1dr2u8kUv3XkhxB9oJ3Je5d-squOpuwnymc5ZMH9QhGWmB2Ub0gJPt8NTL74DXkZIR3wJICoVQLNhflcA/s1600/hershey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWrsVIqJr8MxXWv3PGBKdh3L87yOtNErxQrYocTZV7zNdcIQcO8joGw1dr2u8kUv3XkhxB9oJ3Je5d-squOpuwnymc5ZMH9QhGWmB2Ub0gJPt8NTL74DXkZIR3wJICoVQLNhflcA/s320/hershey.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">I'm running there with Patty, which is super cool because we did a lot of our training runs together, so it was great to spend time with her on the actual day of the race. You know, this may actually be at the end of the run now that I think about it, because she looks so happy! Ha!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">There are also some awful race pics of me that my team can see, from a professional photographer who graciously donated pictures he took for us to download for free. However, you will not get to see those crazy pics here :)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Here's one more, where I think I actually kind of look like a "real" runner!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1t9USzpkKDF1RaWxMwpqSANOAjMx0NpJygKnRWeiawedlLyKAoOg-TCXvS7xfeVPcDtcRFfPmweTKuLEcgXa7ZK7lcEfUske7ky54Ya7V2sDgqaov_n_19KwQ6JA6nMVUPsJHaA/s1600/hershey2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1t9USzpkKDF1RaWxMwpqSANOAjMx0NpJygKnRWeiawedlLyKAoOg-TCXvS7xfeVPcDtcRFfPmweTKuLEcgXa7ZK7lcEfUske7ky54Ya7V2sDgqaov_n_19KwQ6JA6nMVUPsJHaA/s320/hershey2.jpg" width="228" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">Thanks to everyone who support me, thought about me, and helped me fundraise for this goal! It was amazing, and I certainly plan to run another half-marathon shortly...maybe April of 2013? Who's with me???</span></span>realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20453449.post-20791636719156177912012-09-06T13:54:00.000-04:002012-09-06T13:54:03.982-04:00slow going<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9K06vUCz1cnzner2-zEs0NOnml39BXohAiAjPSHz67_wNwSv-P8Rr8DsaIkdmeglDFrs51U3P3ZRS71Pk4G0kTMY2mXw9QwPnnZbCj8O9T8V4fxE-wsUFbIaHCqQ49sBSPSH0Gg/s1600/poster-cha-cha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9K06vUCz1cnzner2-zEs0NOnml39BXohAiAjPSHz67_wNwSv-P8Rr8DsaIkdmeglDFrs51U3P3ZRS71Pk4G0kTMY2mXw9QwPnnZbCj8O9T8V4fxE-wsUFbIaHCqQ49sBSPSH0Gg/s400/poster-cha-cha.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">from
<a href="http://notsalmon.com/2012/09/04/cha-cha-your-way-to-happy-life-cha-cha-changes/#.UEjfeI1lRcQ">http://notsalmon.com/2012/09/04/cha-cha-your-way-to-happy-life-cha-cha-changes/#.UEjfeI1lRcQ</a> </td></tr>
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While I was running this morning, I was thinking about how slow I run. I'm usually a 12+ minute miler. When I first started running, I just liked running, period, and wanted to stay running the whole time, instead of taking walk breaks. Now that I can pretty much keep running most all the time, I am starting to get it in my head that I should be going faster. It doesn't really help that many of the running blogs I read feature ladies who are sub-9-minute milers. Good for them! I mean that without a hint of sarcasm. BUT, for me, I need to keep that comparison out of my head, because it is not helpful AT ALL!</div>
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I have never really been a patient person, and I see now that the progressive improvement in running that I thought was keeping my impatience at bay isn't even progressive enough (in terms of speed, anyway) to keep me satisfied!</div>
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So...I will have to relax and adjust. And I love the graphic above (by the way, the whole notsalmon.com website is freaking amazing) and the message that is brings. I also love the poem below, which a good friend just shared with me yesterday. As I was running this morning and thinking about my slowness, I remembered the poem and had a brief, and fleeting, a-ha moment, thinking about the ways that the message to be okay with the slowness is trying to permeate my life. So maybe I just need to chill out and let it permeate.</div>
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<span style="color: #ba174d; font-family: inherit;"><h2 style="background-color: white; color: #ba1749; font-size: 26px; font-weight: 200;">
Above All,<br />Trust in the Slow Work of God</h2>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Above all, trust in the slow work of God.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We are quite naturally impatient in everything</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to reach the end without delay.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We should like to skip the intermediate stages.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">We are impatient of being on the way</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to something unknown, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> something new.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yet it is the law of all progress that is made</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> by passing through some stages of instability</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and that may take a very long time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">And so I think it is with you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Your ideas mature gradually. Let them grow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Let them shape themselves without undue haste.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Do not try to force them on </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> as though you could be today what time</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> -- that is to say, grace --</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and circumstances </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> acting on your own good will </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> will make you tomorrow.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Only God could say what this new Spirit</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> gradually forming in you will be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Give our Lord the benefit of believing </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> that his hand is leading you,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> in suspense and incomplete.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Above all, trust in the slow work of God,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> our loving vine-dresser.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Amen.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">~<b><span style="color: #ba174d;">Pierre Teilhard de Chardin</span> </b></span></div>
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realsarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07389606753472379452noreply@blogger.com4