Wednesday, April 20, 2016

the irony of people pleasing

When you're too hooked in to people-pleasing and worrying about how other people feel (and how they feel about you), the irony is that you will mirror your moods based on their reactions or the energy they're putting out.

You may walk into a room happy and content, but they immediately start grumbling about how bad their day was, or worse, something that you did that they're unhappy about. Immediately, you shift your energy from lightness and joy to match their grouchy, murky negative energy (at least I do...or did...or am trying not to.)

Other days, you might find that you are SO happy and SO ebullient that you walk into a room and you don't even care about the energy of others. So what if they had a bad day? You didn't! And so you are yourself and you are shiny and happy and, guess what? They might get a little of that shine on them!

Being empathetic and compassionate and tuned into others is really a gift, but it can definitely be taken too far.

The more you try to make people happy, the more you might match their energy and both depress/suppress your own and also take on some of their negativity. Protecting your own energy and staying in your own joy NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THEM will help. And, the irony is, it helps more people!

You think that by pleasing people, you are doing good. You think that you are solving problems and keeping people happy and having a positive effect on their lives. But when you let them suck you down instead of spreading your joy and maybe even affecting them with it, less people are happy! They're still not happy, and now YOU'RE not happy! Why not own your own joy and power and light and allow it to infuse every room you enter? Who cares if other people are annoyed by it? And they're probably not!

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